TheLegendsLeague

Dear Army Toque,

We’ve been through so much. So many half fashionable days on Queen Street wearing Nudies and white hanes tees seemed so incomplete without you - but that emptiness was rare - and now, has become never. Behind closed doors I keep you aside, I know, and it’s harsh. Harsh as the cold you protect me from. Harsh as what I was forced to realize today.

Please don’t think I hate you… this wasn’t your fault. You were first. I was foolish.

Love Always,
bryan.

Dear Army Jacket,

I knew when I first saw you that I needed you in my life. No. I knew this before. I knew this since I was a child, when my father first introduced me to you, that I couldn’t go my adult life without you. When I saw you hanging there I reached for another one just like you and my homey said, “No… it’s not right”. He knew you were the right fit. And I’m thankful you came home with me that night.

But I must say this to you today -

Why the FUCCCKKKKKKKK didn’t you tell me that I was wearing my fucking army toque when I grabbed you out of the closet and rushed out the fucking door?! By the time I got to the streetcar stop I was already 20 minutes late, but just in time to see my reflection in the Blockbuster window staring back at me looking like a fucking G.I. Joe! And what a fucking day to make this all happen! You SLUT! It’s fucking REMEMBERANCE DAY, BITCH!!!! And I’m here in the fucking office looking like I dressed up as Guile from Street Fighter! Damn you! And damn my god damn mirror for not looking at me this morning to tell me the same!

Fuck you. For today.
I’ll be back to loving you tender when Army Toque isn’t around.

bitch..
be.

(LMAO.. still trippin’.)

Since Sunday, when Format Magazine published their interview with Times Neue Roman, a number of people have been getting at me like, “Arowbe, what the fuck is an oscilloscope?” So for those of you weren’t paying attention in Physics, an oscilloscope is a device that is used to measure voltages on a 2-D graph. Have you ever seen someone’s heartbeat in wave form? Oscilloscope.

Pong’s Predecessor:

In 1958, one of the world’s first videogames, Tennis for Two was developed on the oscilloscope. I invite you to marvel in its wonder:

I was awarded the “be.” Award today for excellency in the category of being someone with the syllable pronounced “be” in their name. It’s something that I’ve been waiting to get nominated for for quite some time and to finally be recognized for my efforts as a world class someone with the syllable pronounced “be” in their name was a great great honour. I never thought I would actually get nominated, let alone win it.

Right after I got off the stage I shouted Nebby to let her know that I had finally won:

be.: I’m the winner of the “be.” Award!
Nebby: Wa
Nebby: Lolll
Nebby: Sickkkk
be.: I know.
Nebby: Wat u have to do
Nebby: Nuthin huh
be.: Just represent the be shit.
be.: You were in my acceptance speech.
Nebby: Reallyyyyy
Nebby: Wat u say?
be.: I said:

“Thank you to all who voted. I mean, it could have been any ‘be’ that won this - Jon B., The Cheerios Bee, or even Neb-be. But you guys voted for me.. And for that, I couldn’t BE any more grateful”.

Thanks to everyone for voting. And to last years winner, Jerry Seinfeld as Barry B. Benson in The Bee Movie, thanks for really setting the standard for the rest of the ‘be’s to come.

I saw this video today on Nebby’s facebook via Drizzy.

I didn’t post it to laugh at this dude.. although I did laugh at him. I posted it to see if anyone can figure out how it is possible to gallop in such a fashion at such a speed - in reverse. There’s not a gazelle nor a Giselle ballet dancer at her prime that can do this shit.

LMFAO!!!!