TheLegendsLeague

I wrote this 2 days before our Pop-Up Shop but didn’t post it because I didn’t want my supporters to know how terrible I had been feeling.

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Most times I’m running. Not to get anywhere other than away. I know the circle closes and this relaxing lapse is after all just a lap that stops exactly where it starts and my heart breaks when it’s over. Because at the end of something this exhausting I’m the only one around for complaining, hurting, arguing and talking and the sad, sad fact of the matter is I’m most mad because I’m still sober, in my own bullshit scenic stink walking, but I can’t drink the bridge nor the troubled waters away. And there’s a speed bump or two that have veered me out of the ranks of top contention. I’m just trying to get over. I’m just trying to have honor and I’m just trying to be a father and trying to do art and I’m just trying to be loved and considered cool less than I’m considered smart but I can’t win, let alone get myself an honorable mention. Cus I don’t go to trade shows and I do everything in a way that isn’t considered industry convention. I need a room full of friends, a camera crew and some support to say “We love you, Bryan, don’t try to kill yourself, please.” Well, I won’t, stupid. I hope, stupid. I’ve made a fool of myself, a scene of my life, a dream on a float paraded and I’m quite certain that given a silent camera shutter and an Instagram account you’d sooner put your phone to it than reach out a helping hand to put my strandedness at ease. Because the only possible way I can have my ear this close to the street all the time is to be laid out on the ground. All the fucking time. I’m out on my feet. It was never cool to be me just cool to see me try to escape the quicksand, just cool enough to applaud, cool enough to gasp, cool enough to laugh when the only thing stopping me from falling completely over when standing on guard for my brand was the fact I could use being hurt as a kick stand when I was parked somewhere between a bar and being broke. I do have dad issues and I don’t speak to my mother nor do I recall the last time that we spoke. I do fear everyone that comes near me whether they’re a brother, officer or potential lover cus I’m provoked into thinking they’re either gonna leave me or stick around only because it’s fun to beat up the guy who is only okay when he’s brutally hurt. When he’s usually bruised, unusually useful when stupidly down, and he frowns while you applaud how he works. Because 2 hands clapping sounds like one hand punching. Because a like is not a love and even if it was it’s only virtual. And I’m still a person. I still complain because I’m still alone almost 24 hrs a day like I’m still on house arrest, still placed in a storage room, basement or facility where I’m not allowed to stand up if there’s cutlery on the table because me and the other 8-16 year olds are violent enough to kill any tough guy 20 something that claims he is currently trill on Twitter. But who am I kidding? The damage I’ve done to the “game” is only trumped by the damage I’ve done to my liver trying to tolerate the league and all the other players. Cus for the most part I’m not called a hero, I’m not called a champion, I’m not at all acceptable by the circles that I can’t be in because I’m way too emo and I’m less attached to accolades than I am attached to failures. And so I say my other life is perfect and I refuse to praise a savior. I’m used to saving graces being shooting double Jamesons. I’m through convincing company I’m good in bright lit places while I’m sweating in the bathroom because my brain dislikes its face. But I need machismo. I need confidence. I need to speak the lingo more than speaking common sense since it’s sexy that sells. It’s scary. It’s obscure that tips the scales and I don’t skate or dress in black. The last straw collapsed the camel but the hearts been broke since it first cracked and here I am in all my glory, crying like a bitch. Sighing at my life. Trying not to listen to the violining knife that wants to play the strings of wrists like all of this was done in vane. Because while you’re also quite different that doesn’t make us both the same, it just means that your version of alone isn’t as hollow as where I am. The echoes aren’t quite as loud. The audience doesn’t know applause is often followed by a cloud and this rain on the top is more than enough to drown me. God, I never had an ark. I never had a part. I never got the play. I always had a spark but the fire was astray so while I went towards insanity my friends all went away. Or told me I just needed to go out tonight. Like a beer was all I needed. A bitch. A 60 and a blow job. A fix through a nose job affixed to a hundred. Or maybe I should go on vacation. Because while the outside sees a paradise I feel a deserted sense of being stranded on an island where I don’t wanna stay. And so I run. I run like somehow the ghosts will tire with a thirst to finish and a burst of fire that burns my descent with a raised desire and a level of commitment that says, “This will all make sense soon”. Because I need it to. Otherwise my past catches up and I lose the sprint. I throw the race. I never stand in my presumed place on a podium knowing I’d rather jump to my death than raise my hands to the praise. I never really liked the attention. It was affection I was looking for and now that it’s here it feels far too foreign for me to welcome it home or sample it’s fruit. A tree grows crooked when it’s spoiled at the root. And I’m still searching. Still dying for my life. Because I was never chasing a dream, I was running from a nightmare. And either way it feels I’m never quite there.

This past Saturday we held our very first Pop-Up Shop of 2013. Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, the “Jameson Ave. Pop-Up Shop” was a nod to both the street I lived on as a young child and the Whiskey of choice for TheLegendsLeague. It featured the release of 3 new New Era caps, 4 new tees, 2 new lighters and the pre-sale of our YYZ is Home snapback.

At 5:30am I received my first text message saying there was already a line-up outside of F As In Frank. Then I was sent a photo of the line. Then my Twitter account started going off with people saying they had been camped out since 3am, then others saying they were there since midnight. I tried to go back to bed having only slept for 3 hours, but knowing how cold it was I couldn’t rest thinking people were out there in the snow and sub zero temperature waiting for us to open the doors for the sale. At 7am I decided to get dressed and head to the shop to let everyone know I appreciated them and what they were putting themselves through just to get their hands on our product.

Having not slept much at all and losing a bunch of weight from not eating enough and probably running too much, I was very exhausted and very stressed about this Pop-Up. I wanted to show up for the city and hold a sale on one of the busiest corners in downtown Toronto but I was also really hoping the city was gonna show up for us. It was very evident to anyone that passed that corner within the first 2 hours of the sale that Toronto really did come out to support and the feeling of seeing that line-up was absolutely incredible.

It didn’t take long for us to sell out of a lot of our pieces. The Jameson Ave. tee sold out quick, we sold every single New Era that we released and our baseball tees disappeared within the first batch of customers. It was very humbling to know that all the work we put into designing pieces particularly for our city was appreciated and responded well to by you guys. It was a lot of work but it was clearly worth it.

One of the most difficult things that I had to deal with for this Pop-Up Shop was managing the “first come, first serve” policy. As time goes on and the brand continues to expand I begin to take on relationships with people I may otherwise never be in contact with. As supporters of my work some people feel an exclusive right to cut the line or have things put aside for them. While there have been occasions when I’ve let people cut line, I had to be sure not to allow that at this sale out of strict respect for the individuals who braved the cold to get what they wanted. It’s not at all fair for me to give an advantage to anyone just because they may have known me from high school or because they’re a friend of a friend of a friend who doesn’t even know where I live. I have a great deal of respect for the people who spend their hard earned money to invest in our brand and as uncomfortable as it was to stand up to friends and family and ask people to get it in line, it was necessary. I’m still learning the ropes of this game and I’m trying to do it in a way that is true to my morals and values as a man while still being sure to take care of my people. I apologize to anyone who may have been offended by my enforcement of this rule and I want you all to know that I do appreciate you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t hold down the line how I chose to.

A few Pop-Up Shops ago I decided that I should spend more time talking to our brand supporters and less time behind the register doing transactions. A lot of our supporters started paying attention to TheLegendsLeague because of my candidness and willingness to speak about uncomfortable or taboo life scenarios. It’s that unwavering level of honesty that I think separates the fact that we really do represent a lifestyle more so than clothing. The clothes have become the secondary piece to the story that is TheLegendsLeague. That being said, I thought it was only right for me to stand outside and brave the cold with you guys until everybody in the line was served. My team did an incredible job putting your transactions through efficiently and as we added the ability to pay with Visa and Mastercard they went through everything pretty flawlessly. Big shout out to Bobby, Adrian and Andrew for manning the table, to TG and Dilan for coming through and to Kadeem for taking all of these pics. I’m proud of myself and I’m proud of my team.

It’s not rare for me to feel like I’m tired of waiting for this thing to work; that I’m tired of not being where I feel me and my team deserve to be. After this sale I told myself that I needed to soak in what we just accomplished and stop thinking about the negative aspects of everything. Sure, it’s good to want to improve, but sometimes it’s very necessary to just enjoy what is for what it is. And so I took the crew out to just enjoy ourselves a little bit. We went for drinks and dinner and just tried to soak in what we had done. They deserved it and I was very grateful to be able to do that with them.

A lot of my family came out to see me as well even though I specifically asked them not to. One of my cousins was actually waiting since 5am to get in. This was hard for me to deal with but it was a very strange and proud feeling to know that they were watching what I had become in a sense. They’ve known me since I was a baby and I know that I can be me with or without the brand when I’m with them. Just knowing they were around gave me an incredible sense of self. Then to top it off my ex of 7 years who I’m still very much in contact with showed up. I can’t tell you how happy that all made me.

One of the stranger things that happened was my dad showing up after I hadn’t seen him in probably 8 months. I don’t speak very often to him and I don’t talk to my mother at all, but for whatever reason he came to see how I was. First he congratulated me then he hit me with the bad news that his homey had been murdered. It was a very messed up scenario to be put under during such a big day but that’s the nature of my relationship with my parents. I don’t know how it’s gonna be but it’s definitely always going to be uncomfortable. My mother whom I haven’t spoken to since last February also emailed me to congratulate me. I can’t help but be fucked up by it all while trying to enjoy what we accomplished on that day. It makes for mixed emotions that I’d rather not have but that’s pretty standard when it comes to my dealings with them. It was hard to go through the day with those looming feelings, but it was what it was.

In the end, these pop-up shops are about our supporters. Since our brand is now carried at 9 stores we have to be respectful of our retailers and design new pieces strictly sold at pop-up shops. This means that we need to work twice as hard during the year to put product out that you guys will love both at the pop-up level and when our releases hit stores. I’m not blind to the fact that without the people who believe in my work I would be cooped up in an office somewhere slaving for someone who doesn’t actually understand what I do. I know that this is a relationship that we’re making and not just a one way conversation. Going into Saturday I had an ill feeling that our time in this city was passing. I was proven terribly wrong when all was said and done. To show my gratitude, I allowed for people who were in line from 7am and prior to pre-order a restock of the Jameson Ave. tee and as I promised I placed an order today with New Era to replenish our stock of fitteds. Like I said to you all in person, I appreciate you. I hope you know this.

I want to say thank you to everyone who showed up, sent me text messages, emails, twitter shouts and liked our pics on Instagram. Thank you to all my homies that came to check me, to Julie and Will for bringing Benjamin by to meet me, to Landlord, Tish and Shareen from F as in Frank for being such incredible hosts, to the dude who brought me the bottle of Jameson and once again to my team. We did it and I’m very proud of us all.

This road has been an interesting one and I’m glad I can have you guys with me along the way. Thank you a thousand times over, Toronto.

With Love&Respect,
- Bryan

This Saturday March 16th at “F as in Frank” – 418 Queen Street W. (Just west of Spadina across the street from Urban Outfitters) we will be hosting the “Jameson Ave.” Pop-Up Shop. The shop will be open from 10-6pm and will feature the release of 4 new graphic tees, 3 new New Era hats and the pre-sale of our “YYZ is HOME” snapbacks. We will also be selling 2 new lighters, items from some of our past seasons as well as exclusive items available strictly at this Pop-Up Shop. We will be accepting cash and credit and will enforce a strict first come first serve policy. Arrive early to assure you get your sizes.

See you Saturday morning.

$50 Hats

$40 Tees

$5 Lighters

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#LLseason is coming.

I’ve had many people, friends, brand followers and otherwise, ask me for advice or help regarding some of the sensitive issues I’ve dealt with in my past, usually ranging between depression, schizophrenia, alcoholism, suicide and being a young father. It’s difficult to dedicate enough time to these types of requests because sometimes it’s through text and I may not be in a prime scenario to have an in-depth conversation about something that is so sensitive to most people. But short spurting replies just seems rude, so we never actually get around to talking about it. (Thankfully in the one instance that a brand follower was in a very serious suicidal situation we were able to speak for almost 4 hours and calmed everything down. But this is rare).

Today I had a conversation through text with a family member regarding anxiety and anxiety attacks. I suffer from these in most social scenarios when there are a lot of people around that I don’t know. At times it’s actually harder when I know people. And so it cycles around and around and I’m trapped.

I copy and pasted my portion of the conversation below to help shed some light on anyone who has ever asked me about this subject and for anyone who may be suffering from anxiety or panic attacks in social situations. I’m no doctor, but I’ve Johnny Rambo’d my way through a lot of wounds to know what’s what and I’m honored to know that people value my opinion and advice regarding life altering psychological obstacles. I hope this helps.

—

Growing up we were in a constant state of trauma. Either recovering from, or being uncertain of the next act of aggression or violence taken out against us.

We had no flight capability or fight capability because (for me) I couldn’t fight my dad.

So I just stopped crying when he would hit me and it made it worse. He would hit me with wood and it escalated. Then he started to choke me. We were always in this fear state.

So our only response was to act out when we felt imposed on or uncomfortable.

So I would rob people or beat people up. But now we’re older and we can’t do that. But our brains are still hard wired to be prepared for trauma.

Always.

So we get nervous and anxious.

The key is really to know yourself. Know your limits. And know what you can do to reset yourself.

(something about distracting yourself)

Shutting off your mind or distracting yourself doesn’t work because it’s not that you’re THINKING bad things. You’re instinctively EXPECTING bad things. So you need to know how to reset. When you’re flustered or sweating or uncomfortable, how can you reset?

I usually have to step away. I go to a bathroom and chill. Splash cold water on my face and smile in the mirror so I’m not focusing on bad. I laugh at myself. Or I have to go for a walk.

It happened to me last night at a Nike event. It’s the worst. Because you’re getting intro’d to important people and you’re supposed to be the shit. But all I can feel is someone jumping me or robbing me or me fighting. I’m not thinking abt it. It’s just how I’m programmed.

You’ve gotta laugh the worry out.

Instead of “omg I’m freaking out” I usually say to my homies “I’m sweating like a wet pig” or something like that.

“Like a nun in a porno”

It has to amuse you that you’re reacting like that. Or else it’ll always feel like it’s a problem. It’s gotta be funny to you. Because the alternative, that you and me both know, is that it’s traumatic for you. And that hasn’t been working.

The problem with arguing with yourself is you will never win.

It’s hard. I know exactly how hard it is. And it’s why I drink so much.

And it’s hard to not respond to it.

I know right away when it’s happening. But the reality is that it’s not as bad on the outside as it is on the inside.

And it’s hard to remember that. That’s why I go to the bathroom. I look at myself and SEE that I don’t look nervous or anxious. You know what, think of it like this..

I got arrested for those assaults in 2004. That means my way of thinking and living was programmed already for 23 years.

I’ve only had 9 years to unlearn and reteach myself. And it’ll probably take me 46 years to figure it all out.

So don’t be hard on yourself.

Just think of it like a baby learning to walk. Sometimes it’s funny to push them and watch them fall.

- So yeah suffice it to say anxiety runs in our family.

Trauma does. We can’t peg the anxiety.

- Therapy really helps.

“Therapy” doesn’t help. GOOD ADVICE is therapeutic.

There’s a difference.

I’ve had therapists that asked me to fight. When I was 12/13. That doesn’t help. It’s TALKING that is therapeutic. “Therapy” isn’t the help.

You’ve gotta reset how you think because you’re pegging the wrong things. You talking is what’s helping you. That empowers YOU. YOU’RE helping you.

Empower yourself. Own the benefits of your own healing.

As weird and yoga as that sounds.

Anxiety doesn’t run in the family. Trauma does. So it’s up to us to not put our kids in traumatic situations. Otherwise we can excuse their anxiety on genetics.

Remove the trauma and you greatly lessen the risk of anxiety.

You know what you do and how it affects you. I would challenge you to try the opposite. Be out in the sun. Walk when it’s nice out. Do everything that’s not what you’re accustom to. And you’ll start to see that proactively changing the small things will allow your stress response to feel uncomfortable. And suddenly it doesn’t know why but its not shocked anymore.

I’ve been trying it. I haven’t worn a hat in a while. It’s uncomfortable. But I need to put myself through it to see the response.

The reason we feel insane is because we are living the definition of insanity in Chinese culture: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

- Fuck no. Can’t do it.

It’s not that you CAN’T. It’s that you DON’T.

If you don’t do anything and expect change or if you do only so little to not make yourself uncomfortable, your therapeutic talking becomes unwarranted complaining.

- Maybe I need to hear it over and over to retrain my brain.

No. You need to stop being a baby and take action.

The “over and over” is passive.
“I need” is passive.

And you can constantly make excuses in a passive state.

“I need to hear it again. Sorry. Again. Sorry. Say it again. I’m not ready. Again.”

I’m talking from experience. Not a book. I’m in this too. I didn’t learn this from reading or hearing about it. I’m totally in it.

Sometimes the only way out is through.

Love you.

—

“No Luck In Love” Tee

For our February Online Exclusive release we’re putting out a tee conceptualized by one of my designers, TG and executed by me. The image is an original illustration that I did in pencil and features 4 broken hearts combined to make a shamrock. The type is the exact typeface from our popular “FuckLuck” design.

This piece will be available from Monday February 4th until Monday February 11th and will ship in March.

Get yours now HERE

“EVOLVE” (Darkside)
by Bryan Espiritu

After getting a lot of requests to re-release this print I decided to make a darkside version to maintain the integrity and authenticity of the original edition of 25. This is the side I relate with most anyway.

-

Derived from the popular “LOVE” sculpture by Robert Indiana, “EVOLVE” was designed as a reminder that love can sometimes skew our outlook on our lives and cause us to see ourselves falling downwards into old ways rather than growing into new, improved versions of ourselves. These 18×24″ screen prints were hand crafted in Toronto on soft white 100% cotton paper. Each piece is hand numbered and signed and is available in an extremely limited edition of 25 pieces.

Available HERE

“Vagabond”
by Bryan Espiritu

A vagabond moves from place to place never settling down to a fixed location. I am not a vagabond. I was just forced into becoming one. I thought I found a home; somewhere I felt safe and comfortable in. But it killed me inside. I felt alone. And so I left it only to realize it was the best place for me. In leaving again, a large part of me begs to stay. The other pridefully walks away.

I’d love to, stay. But I think it’s time I go.

This piece is part of my “Forever Young” Collection.

“We’re Almost There”
by Bryan Espiritu

I used to hear the lyrics to Michael Jackson’s “We’re Almost There” as a hopeful anthem for me to win back the most important love I ever lost. That hope soon became a realization that sometimes love can’t be won over with words and blind faith. Sometimes it just doesn’t want to continue through the hardship. And sometimes it just can’t do any more than what’s already been done. At that point I started to hear the lyrics of one of my favorite songs in a pleading manner. And now it kills me.

This piece is as close as I could get to illustrating the feeling of losing everything I had. My left hand reaches out pleading and saying “Take my hand, we can make it” while my right hand grips onto anything it can saying, “What the fuck have I done to ruin this?”.

This piece is part of my “Forever Young” Collection.

Last month I had the incredibly humbling opportunity to work closely with my friends Marcus Troy and Daniella Etienne (Broken Heel Diaries) alongside Jay Strut and DJ Lissa Monet on a project featuring Sony’s new line of VAIO Touch computers. We were all given computers geared specifically to our interests and professions and had the opportunity to familiarize ourselves with the hardware. On December 17th at The Spoke Club in Toronto we were able to share with our friends and followers how we used each computer in our own right.

I was given the Sony VAIO Touch Duo 11 Ultrabook which was loaded with ArtRage® Studio Pro. I absolutely loved it for painting in a realistic manner using digital tools. The image above is the illustration of my friend Reese that I worked on for the event. I was floored by the response I got via Instagram and Twitter and really humbled by the comments and compliments at the actual event. It was a lot of fun to show people how I actually got from sketch to (near) complete picture, and I could see the excitement in people to give the program and computer a shot themselves.

THE CONTEST
Here’s the fun part. I get to give away the same computer Sony gave me to ONE OF YOU!

HOW TO ENTER
1. Follow @legendsleague on Twitter and Instagram
2. Leave a comment on this post explaining how you would use the Sony VAIO Duo 11 to get closer to the dreams you aspire to and be sure to post your Twitter and/or Instagram handle.
3. Tweet or post to Instagram: I just entered for my chance to win a Sony #VAIOtouch Duo 11 with @legendsleague
4. Cross your fingers.

The entry that I find most inspiring will win the computer. Simple Simon.

Contest closes Friday February 1st.

Good luck guys!

UPDATE: The contest is now closed. Thank you to everyone who left their heartfelt entries.

Vault Series: December releases:
“T.O. Don’t Love U” tee
“Deadly Venom” tee

Design: T.O. Don’t Love U
Original Release: 2008
Vault Series Release: Original Design.

Collection/Series:
“T.O. Don’t Love U” was released in 2008 as a part of my first Spring/Summer collection of tees. It was an un-themed release that was a hand picked group of some of my favourite designs that I had developed for TheLegendsLeague in 2007.

Influence/Concept:
Growing up as a member of the Toronto Hip-Hop scene since I was 13, I witnessed the scarcity of the concept of community and love in the city in the 90′s and early 2000′s. As a b-boy, the battle atmosphere was raw with personal distaste and often got heated to a physical level. The climate was a lot more tense and a lot less campy with crews from all parts of the GTA rarely having any personal interaction at parties or events outside of battling or cyphering. Things were a lot more grimy back then, with a stronger East Coast influence and less of a party vibe. It was as if we were all doing what we did to get out our aggressions and not to gain personal fame. There was still a measure for “selling out”. There wasn’t a place for b-boys as choreographers. There was no bar for high end “street art” shows. So our motives behind being part of that world were based on skills before any perceivable success. The public didn’t understand us and we truthfully preferred it that way.

Back then, the people who were active in the hip-hop community were recognized and respected for their skills by their peers and there was no other means to get popular. You had to be dope or you couldn’t come around. (Getting beat down for acting dope was something I saw happen a couple of times and it almost felt like that weeded out a lot of the bullshit). Maybe it was just the kinds of people who were in the main crews I was around, but we really didn’t like anyone other than the people we rolled with. To be honest that seemed to be the general consensus across the board in Toronto at that time.

We were known as the Screwface Capital, where everyone grilled everyone and nobody got an easy pass. That term was coined and trademarked by one of the city’s greatest emcees, Theology 3, in a line where he spit: “I’m from the T-dot-O, yeah, The Screwface Capital.” It was a true statement and it was a statement we were proud of. But it was also a mentality that seemed to stunt our growth. Artists and crews who were actually dope wouldn’t get a great response from the community. The idea of collaborating was less prevalent. The segregation on a battling and competition level was dope, but in order for the city to grow on a broader scale, the fragmented pieces couldn’t stay that way. It was as if the community had built a wall around itself that only allowed active members in and we prided ourselves so much on being a part of that world that we didn’t let “fans” enter. But then we all became critical artists and it felt like we were never appreciative of what anyone else offered.

The design of “T.O. Don’t Love U” is obviously based on Milton Glaser’s popular “I Love NY” design. The heart has the same base, but I broke it up to have the LL logo in the negative space as a subliminal look and also so that anyone who tried to leech the design would be playing themselves since my logo would still be in the art. That heart is now known as the Heartbroken Logo; a main branding element for TheLegendsLeague.

The original release of this design was on a crewneck and it had an additional print on the back that said “They Love Us… We Don’t Even Like ‘Em.”. Recent re-releases of this design did not feature the print on the back.

Critical Breakdown:
“I’m from the T-dot-O, yeah the Screwface Capital™”.
- Theology 3, (Legendary Toronto Emcee)

Known to be the real “city of hella haters”, Toronto has a reputation for being one of the most critical and unsupportive crowds in North America. While it’s foolish to applaud poor quality product, it’s even more foolish to not recognize and support dope work – especially when it’s coming from your peers.

T.O. Don’t Love U stems from Toronto’s Screwface era but also touches on the idea that it takes much more energy to hate everyone than it does to like nobody. Often Toronto’s biggest issue has been taking too much time disliking one another and not spending enough time showing respect where it’s due.

It’s difficult to respect your craft as an artist when you’ve forgotten what it feels like to enjoy it as a fan.

If you don’t know, now you almost know.

Welcome To TheLegendsLeague

ORDER HERE

Design: Deadly Venom
Original Release: 2009
Vault Series Release: Unreleased Design, New colourway.

Collection/Series:
“Deadly Venom” was part of our Spring/Summer 2009 offering. It was a collection that featured some of our Feds, Major LLeague and Sting The Police Series.

Influence/Concept:
2009 was a very critical year for me. I wasn’t completely sure how to go about growing TheLegendsLeague as a business, I was hoping to get married, wasn’t sure if I should go back to the corporate world or stay grinding and I didn’t have a foothold on what my place was in the world. A lot of things were up in the air. I was in a fight with myself to not only decide what I was going to do with my life, but also to figure out how exactly I could do it without going completely broke. My parents had finalized their split and my childhood home was sold. I had no fall back plan, nowhere to go if things went sour and was losing money fast. It was a little bit scary and a fucking lot unnerving.

I made some decisions around that time that were solely based on money. I needed to get paid and I needed to pay my rent. So I designed for shitty companies, produced shitty work to get shitty petty cheques. It was personally and creatively degrading but LL wasn’t paying the bills. So I did what I had to do no matter how much it killed me inside.

Having always been one to write and create plays on words, I got intrigued one day with the fact that MONEY in reverse looked like the word VENOM. So I started playing with the idea and created a graphic of a snake reaching at a dollar sign. At the time the company was still going by “IDEALL”, so I wanted the graphic to look like a capital letter i while using the base and stem to create an interlocking double L. The 2009 release had an “81″ to the right of the snake, representing my birth year, an “LL” on the left and only a single snake head reaching at a dollar sign that completed an upward triangle to add some additional direction and movement to the graphic.

In the original working file, I had designed the snake to have 2 heads, one at each end. The font I used was bold and less dainty than the design that was released in 2009 and the snakes were attacking each other. The version that’s been released for the Vault Series is the original, original Deadly Venom graphic.

Critical Breakdown:
We’re our own worst enemy in dire straits; confusing our goals with our necessities and our sense of self with our sense of urgency.

Hunger turns deadly when it starves you to the point that you’ll eat yourself alive.

If you don’t know, now you almost know.

Welcome To TheLegendsLeague

ORDER HERE