“I hate to see ya’ll frown but I’d rather see her smile…”

xo

I don’t chase much but love and dreams; not drinks, not pussy, not money or popularity. There are only 2 things that have motivated my life – love and my want to create.

I’ve found love again, and with it I’ve rediscovered a balance in myself that’s propelling a steam engine drive to make my dreams real through art, design, clothing and writing.

It’s 4:30am. I’m cleaning my office preparing to put in a full day of art and design. And I can’t tell you how good it feels to be back in this place.

Thanks for your patience,
- be.

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Of course.

It’s a sobering world…

Where the cloning is rampant through music and fashion and our kings do no exceptional act nor speak of too noble a word. Yet here we are, front row center clapping and basking in the entertainment of it through the afternoon leaning to the dawn sky evening, waiting for a respectable time to start a brand new bender we’ll regret in the morning while thinking about whether you just had sex with this girl.

But this scenes boring.

This seems corny and the list gets longer for the things I must conquer only rivaled by a pile of lists of random shit that bores me. Like you and you. Like picking teams. Like choosing sides. Like, crews aside, my boozing streak is enough to make ten men lose their pride and drown their sorrows in a Jameson pool. And look where that’s gotten me… Back of a cruiser, cuffed like a goof by a trooper not laughing cus I’m passed the old thinking that me being trapped in the station is cool because I know it’s not. I’m not one of the group. I’m no roughed up diamond nor toughened mime. I’m no lessened soul but I’m a lesson learned and an impression burned in the minds of the streets best kids who ingest my words and say, “That’s that shit” when it bleeds their system. And their investments earned.. in me, that is. See, we bad kids and breeds of less, are cold like days you can see your breath. And I told them, “Baby, you got this”. From the floor to top floor corporate office, I’ve done nothing but tell them they’re more. More than me. More than my dreams and for damn sure more than these mistakes. But who cures the doctor or uplifts the clown? Because whether or not I can see the stakes I’ll be the first to never fold when the chips are down. When the dust settles we turn rock from how the sediments got since it’s hard to coach yourself something that you’ve never been taught. But shit I play these cards like Tony Larussa and don’t complain cus life’s as hard as what you’re supposed to go through. A bad patch is just a catch 22 that you need to go through until you reach that clear. It could be a fate you won’t face or even see in a year but the destinations dictated by the way that you steer. And these kids praise me like I’ve raised them for years, though when I’m near I’m distant like the fisherman away from the peer. But I’m no preaching statue nor a leech for stature. I’m no teacher, pastor nor cheer’ed champion. I’m a smooth mistake and a graceful fall. I’m the cruelest place with the coolest walls and a reason to stay and enjoy this rain. I’m the writing that’s righting my pain to posture. I’m the night sky grazed by the greens of pastures where shepherds lead the lesser to a flame to foster. And I’m changed by the winds of my whirling ways, swayed by the whistle of avoiding strays, and suddenly considering the importance of my urgency. I haven’t made one mistake I haven’t learned from purposely. And if only some of this lasts, then let this be the last word from me – that to live fast and die young is less a statement than a certainty.

(As they applaud the last performance and the bowing for each person,
I stood up and closed the motherfucking curtain.)

Love&Above,
- Bryan

Love&Above,
- be.

Love&Above,
- be.

And shit ain’t been the same since.

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