Some (other) shit I wrote on July 16.14

by be.

I’ll be the first to say I wanna be the last to speak and promise habits for days that won’t last a week since my projection of self is covered in filth. Seems we praise the sanity of those who think to stay the same because we’d rather swim in piss than surf a wave of change until somebody else assures us there aren’t sharks. It’s owner’s bright but my apartments dark cus even a candle melts away when it’s too burnt out. And I’ve been too burnt out as I’ve been getting older and been drinking whisky like it’s poured directly from the fountain of youth. And smoking cigarettes really since no fire in me still smolders as I avoid a mountain of tasks I’m still yet to do. Including “Improve”. I’m losing my mind from the centrifugal force of staying in the exact same place with my thoughts spinning about. Or maybe I’m just trying to turn myself around and haven’t figured out which direction I need to face before I finally stop. I would give everything to just have it all and know that nothing isn’t all that I’ve got. At this point nothing is still a helluva lot.

- Bryan 'be.' Espiritu