TheLegendsLeague | Bryan Espiritu

In the past I’ve been able to relive some of my schizophrenic bouts and audible/visible hallucinations through my writing. Some of the clearest examples of this are Reoccur One, I Can’t Work Tonight, and Shoot The Smiling Kid. The hauntings, which at a couple of stages in my teenage years, put me into hospital, are now fuel for much of my creative passion and are reason for me to continue to be alive and excel at what I do. They are no longer disturbing. They do not disturb my regular living. But every now and then, they come around and I address them, take them in stride, and react accordingly – usually by writing.

Two nights ago, while I sat writing in my kitchen, I felt a strangely warm and unwelcoming feeling in my apartment. I put my head up and looked through the kitchen doorway, seeing nothing. Then, this vision began to play out in my head and I wrote as it unfolded.

The poem only took a brief time to complete. But I felt disturbed for a short while afterwards. Not disturbed in a way where I was upset, but disturbed in a way that had me realizing that I am now in greater control of these bouts, and have been able to use them to really help motivate my love for writing. But the content, as real as it is and as honest as it is to me, may be disturbing to others. Thankfully, that’s out of my control.

It’s always been my interest to be honest, to be truthful. And I will always be that. And so I’ve explained my last poem entitled, The GOAT.

The GOAT
by Bryan Espiritu

If I were born a goat, I’d stumble still
Like rumble strips, or crumpled stilts.
I’d widdle these thoughts with a chipper smirk,
like a woodman’s work.
Riddle Rumplestiltz.
A little sun won’t kill all your blackened dreams.
Jean jacket seams,
sack in slacks between.
It just packs all your frogs for the Easter hunt.
Hump, on the egg of a keener’s cunt.
Disaster cream. Disaster cream.
When this slave acts massive, his master screams,
“He’s defaced my wife! Skinned her, Ass and Spleen”.
I’ll wear that face like a mask on ice.
And steal their bread like a basket slice.
So here’s this case of a blood soaked fur.
A mud stained mink, makes the rich cold, sir.
A bludgeoned bitch from a fist with forks,
the mist calls, whistles to a dick long horse.
Who gallops through fields that they forced my trim.
Smashed faced, juicy, had it scorched by gin.
Then I spit on the dipshit and horked my phlegm,
licked the blood off the hoof like a pork fried friend.
They lay apart leaked as I laugh and slur,
singing, “Only a real devil makes this mass occur”.
Only a real devil makes this mass occur.
I smashed her face against his Craftsman torque.
Then pranced away with a mask made pork.
A humble peasant can only smile so much,
And a goat is just a kid until he’s fucked.
Slut.

The story of a slave gone maniacal working for a rich couple on their farm, “The GOAT” describes the thoughts of a man’s mind slightly possessed as he tells of his gruesome murder of his masters.

“If I were born a goat, I’d stumble still”.

- Even with twice as many legs to keep him sturdy, his mind would still be unstable, like a newborn goat.

“Like rumble strips, or crumpled stilts”.

- Both examples of shakiness.

“I’d widdle these thoughts with a chipper smirk”.

- He would pick apart his own thoughts with an evil grin, the double entendre of “chipper” as in chipping away at wood like wood is widdled.

“Riddle Rumplestiltz”.

- His thoughts so wound up in mazes that they would riddle even the classic riddlers.

“A little sun won’t kill all your blackened dreams”.

- The double entendre on sun, as the wife wants a child by her husband, but he fears having a son may outdo his unfulfilled dreams.

“Jean jacket seams, sack in slacks between”.

- Description of the husbands day to day attire. The sack in between the slacks refers to the man’s scrotum.

“It just packs all your frogs for the Easter hunt”.

- His scrotum packs sperm, which look like baby frogs or tadpoles. The Easter hunt refers to the sperms search for an egg.

“Hump, on the egg of a keener’s cunt”.

- The active sperm would try to penetrate the egg of his wife, who adamantly wants a child.

“Disaster cream. Disaster cream”.

- Reference to the husband’s semen and how it bears his worst nightmare, the possibility of having a child.

“When this slave acts massive, his master screams,
‘He’s defaced my wife! Skinned her, Ass and Spleen”.

- As the slave goes into his maniacal frenzy, he barges in on the couple having sex, and stabs the wife with a handful of forks, then skins her with a knife in front of her husband, including the removal of her face.

“I’ll wear that face like a mask on ice”.

- The slave puts the woman’s face on his own like a goalie wears a hockey mask.

“And steal their bread like a basket slice”.

- The slave plans to take all of their money.

“So here’s this case of a blood soaked fur”.

- The blood soaked fur refers to the woman and her blood soaked vagina from the skinning, but also acts as a metaphor for the wasted rich.

“A mud stained mink, makes the rich cold, sir”.

- Reference to the vanity of the wealthy, who would rather freeze than have a stain on their coat. The husband’s life would have felt ‘stained’ had he had a child with his wife.

“A bludgeoned bitch from a fist with forks,
the mist calls, whistles to a dick long horse.
Who gallops through fields that they forced my trim”.

- The slave describes the bludgeoned wife that he stabbed with forks, then drags her outside in the misty morning, whistling, wearing her face. His whistle attracts one of their horses. “Dick long horse” is used to describe how early in the morning it is, acting as a reference to males waking in the early morning with erections. The fields that the horse gallops in were trimmed by the slave at the request of his masters.

“Smashed faced, juicy, had it scorched by gin”.

- The slave smashed the face of the husband to a gooey pulp, poured gin on his face and lit it on fire. ‘Smashed’ is also a term to describe the drunk and Juice and Gin is a popular alcoholic drink.

“Then I spit on the dipshit and horked my phlegm”.

- The slave then spit on the man who lay dead.

“licked the blood off the hoof like a pork fried friend”.

- This is a reference to the slave’s own hand, not the hoof of a pig. He licks his own hand and refers to it as a hoof, like a goat, or the Devil would have. But uses the term, “Pork fried friend” to refer to those who eat pigs feet, and also to foreshadow his exit.

“They lay apart leaked as I laugh and slur,
singing, ‘Only a real devil makes this mass occur’.
Only a real devil makes this mass occur’”.

- The couple lay bleeding themselves out as the slave sings happily, calling himself a real devil and using the words, ‘mass occur’ to act as a homonym for ‘massacre’. He looks at his act as a ceremony like a mass.

“I smashed her face against his Craftsman torque”.

- Not fully satisfied, in an extension of his rage, he lifts the skinned woman by her hair, still wearing her face on his own, and picks up the husband’s Craftsman Torque Wrench, angrily beating her repeatedly in the face with it.

“Then pranced away with a mask made pork”.

- The slave leaves the couple and moves on to behead a pig. The pig is symbolic of both fertility (the wife), and evil (the husband and the slave). He cuts the pigs head to make a mask and puts it over his face, still wearing the face of the skinned woman. He then dances away from the barn into the mist.

“A humble peasant can only smile so much,
And a goat is just a kid until he’s fucked.
Slut.”

- Those who knew the slave would think of him as humble and quiet, but would never know what lay behind his smile and inside his thoughts. He refers back to the baby goat from the beginning, known as a kid, and claims that we are all kids or children at heart until something happens that ruins us. “Until he’s fucked” refers to how psychologically ruined he has gotten over the course of his life as he calls himself, the husband, and the dead wife, “Slut”.

The GOAT

- by Bryan Espiritu

- Bryan 'be.' Espiritu